Assalamualaikum
How's your weekends?
Mine was average and somehow I managed to experience depression,again!
I'm very frustrated with my own life right now,which made me feel that I'm starting to be an anti-social for a while.With workloads that has been cramped into March schedule and my 'monthly-emotional-stage',really tiring me off!Being a-lone-ranger at school does not help me at all!![I do have friends at school,but I'm not-that-close with them,you see]
Somehow,most of my friends don't even bother to tag me along in any of their plans[karaoke/movie/hangout/chill] maybe because I don't stay near them or I spend my free time driving back-to-back or they don't expect me wanna go?Aaargh,there will be million reasons to it and I,myself let the distance became wider.So,padan muka aku larr kan! Adding the deadlines,I'll be spending a lot of time to myself.Eh,bosan larr!!
Today,I don't know why I skipped 4pm class,drove myself back home during lunch hour and slept through the evening!
I guess my depression stage has controlled me and yeahh,I let myself to be controlled by something else other than me??!I don't want to impress others with my so-called "independent" or "tough" personality,[cause I know that I'm not]. Nowadays, Depression is my closest friend to myself!
Nak baca lagi ke?hehe..there's more to my depression stage right now and my on-off-on-off r/ship with Big Boss included to the package!Crapppp tau,I'm very optimistic with whatever situation that we're dealing right now and he's in the other hand,trying to pressure me with timeline!!!Oohh..he decided to give it a 'break' for at least 1 month,no calls,no smses and just ignore skype!Whatever he decides,I'll just go with it and somehow aku complaint psl depression skrg?!Allah swt must be loving me soo much cause He gave me all these kind of challenges and yet,I failed during the 1st day?This is why I hate to talk about my complicated r/ship cause there's a super-duper long story before what I've written here.. shortcut to this : Let see whether our ''jodoh" is strong enough to get us together,[after going thru how-many-depression moments and more crying and putus asa moments]
And I don't know whether I should talk to my mom about this since I'm not a big fan of her since "the June-09 incident" and I don't know when is the right time to talk to her since I'll be dealing with school works all days,and to avoid any more depression,I decided it to keep these to myself and blogspot! Yer larr,kang apa yg dier komen menyakitkan hati aku je lebih,baik tak yah!!!
Consider u're lucky to read all this long post from me :)
Hehe,now dah lega skit...maybe I should this more often...
Till then,Love!
How's your weekends?
Mine was average and somehow I managed to experience depression,again!
I'm very frustrated with my own life right now,which made me feel that I'm starting to be an anti-social for a while.With workloads that has been cramped into March schedule and my 'monthly-emotional-stage',really tiring me off!Being a-lone-ranger at school does not help me at all!![I do have friends at school,but I'm not-that-close with them,you see]
Somehow,most of my friends don't even bother to tag me along in any of their plans[karaoke/movie/hangout/chill] maybe because I don't stay near them or I spend my free time driving back-to-back or they don't expect me wanna go?Aaargh,there will be million reasons to it and I,myself let the distance became wider.So,padan muka aku larr kan! Adding the deadlines,I'll be spending a lot of time to myself.Eh,bosan larr!!
Today,I don't know why I skipped 4pm class,drove myself back home during lunch hour and slept through the evening!
I guess my depression stage has controlled me and yeahh,I let myself to be controlled by something else other than me??!I don't want to impress others with my so-called "independent" or "tough" personality,[cause I know that I'm not]. Nowadays, Depression is my closest friend to myself!
Nak baca lagi ke?hehe..there's more to my depression stage right now and my on-off-on-off r/ship with Big Boss included to the package!Crapppp tau,I'm very optimistic with whatever situation that we're dealing right now and he's in the other hand,trying to pressure me with timeline!!!Oohh..he decided to give it a 'break' for at least 1 month,no calls,no smses and just ignore skype!Whatever he decides,I'll just go with it and somehow aku complaint psl depression skrg?!Allah swt must be loving me soo much cause He gave me all these kind of challenges and yet,I failed during the 1st day?This is why I hate to talk about my complicated r/ship cause there's a super-duper long story before what I've written here.. shortcut to this : Let see whether our ''jodoh" is strong enough to get us together,[after going thru how-many-depression moments and more crying and putus asa moments]
And I don't know whether I should talk to my mom about this since I'm not a big fan of her since "the June-09 incident" and I don't know when is the right time to talk to her since I'll be dealing with school works all days,and to avoid any more depression,I decided it to keep these to myself and blogspot! Yer larr,kang apa yg dier komen menyakitkan hati aku je lebih,baik tak yah!!!
Consider u're lucky to read all this long post from me :)
Hehe,now dah lega skit...maybe I should this more often...
Till then,Love!
